This is a man who I seriously love m, how do I get past his awful harshness and lack of care and respect and even begin to be happy with him?
He is sick. I am far from perfect and I own that, but he is sick. I will not accept this is my fault. Someone please tell me I am not crazy.
You are not crazy. I am currently going through the same exact thing and it does suck. It makes it worse when kids are involved and they’re choosing to be with their wh*** over family.
I love begged him for us to be partners to one another, be united
You are not crazy. I’m sorry you are going through this. My husband cheated on me after 22 years of marriage and two children. I can empathize. He cheated. It was a conscious decision. That hurts and keeps hurting. It’s my experience that it mostly comes down to communication problems. He didn’t tell you what needs weren’t being met. How can you fix something wrong if you don’t know about it. I felt blindsided too. I grieved for the loss of what I thought we had. We have since reconciled but it’s still hard knowing that he cheated. It’s been 10 months and I still cry about it sometimes (no longer in front of him though). Now, I can look at him and feel happy. For a while, all I could think about was the affair. It’s ok to be mad, sad, devastated, anything at all. You will be ok. Take care of yourself. Find things and people that make you happy. Best wishes to you moving forward.
Jennifer What did you do to gain the happiness back and even look at your husband with happy eyes again after being hurt? All my husband says is “How long are you going to be hurt or in pain”? No care at all for the pain he has caused for many many years. When I have said I am trying to get through the pain, his response is “Don’t push through it, get over it”! I’ve read so many articles online and even tried to do a husband challengepliment him and encourage him daily with different things. He shoots me down and says they aren’t coming from a genuine place and that I didn’t do those things before. My thing is I try. I’ve been trying to do whatever it takes to keep my marriage but feel like nothing I do is reciprocated. Which brings me to my next point, when I said to him about reciprocation of being caring or loving in the marriage he says “You are doing these things like you expect me to do something for you in return”…. all of these things and more is what is causing me to feel like trash. Defeated. Depressed. Even the worse of the worse. All I’ve asked is that he meet me 1/2 way or even show compromise in different areas of our marriage. And to cease the cruel pinned up mean behavior. He sees how it makes me feel when he yells and curses at me then ridicules me and say I’m moping around the house in a funk. Like I’m made of steel to keep being a dump site for his wrath and cheating. He said “I completely fed all the way up in sadness and defeat I try to refrain from saying absolutely anything to him at all. Instead of him checking on me or even apologizing for making me feel like 0, he leaves the house for hours at a time or watch tv with no words to me at all. It’s hurtful, and seems very immature. I asked him today what did he even marry me for he said he thought it would make me happy. Then turned around and had the audacity to say what do I think marriage is and about. I’ve tried serving him, complimenting him, doing things buying things. He now says I need to just do things to make myself happy! What am I to do?